I ride the subway a lot. Most New Yorkers do, unless you don't mind wasting your hard earned bucks on cabs, or your filthy rich and take town cars and limos everywhere. But if you're a common man or woman as most of us are, you know the subway system of NYC pretty well. It is the fastest and cheapest way to get around, hands down. And for all the bitching we do, it is a very diverse system that when running smoothly, is actually a convenience that other cities lack. So cheers to the good old MTA.
A New York City subway can also be one of the most rotten places on earth. Vagrants set up shop in it like it's their own personal studio apartment (bathroom included), and the smells that can wash over you at any given time are more intense than a fishmarket in june. People eat a buffet of disgusting fare on it, and leave their leftovers under the seats. People cram in at rush hour, bumping, touching, sweating, panting, coughing, hacking, and rubbing, making it as uncomfortable as a burlap jockstrap. They holler and curse, preach and beg, or just plainly converse with their friends and companions at an unacceptably high volume. No sane person would put themselves through anything remotely close to this on a daily basis, much less pay for it. But then again, we're New Yorkers.
I used to take the 1, 2, and 3 trains religiously. Anywhere I needed to go (home, work, entertainment, etc.) could be accessed by the "red line" as I call it, and if it wasn't, I'd just take one of said trains to the closest possible point to my destination, and hoof it the rest of the way. But since I moved, I am no longer bound to the west side, and I found myself exploring new colors. The "green line" (4, 5, and 6 trains) opened up a world of possibility on the east, but I find the service is not as consistent. The train cars are much nicer though. The "orange line" (B,D,F,M) is still mostly a mystery to me, as I've largely avoided it aside from going to Yankee Stadium on the B or D. The "blue line"(A, C, E) essentially ran parallel to the "red line" in the areas that I frequented, but it was just less convenient and overall less reliable so, fuck that. Now, I'm all about the "yellow line." The N, R, Q, W. It kind of just rolls off the tongue, NRQW. Specifically, I find myself on the R train more than anything.
Yellow is the color of cowards. The color of fear. It's also the color that says "I'm into water sports" if you wear a yellow colored bandana to a gay bar. But that's a bit off topic and color (no pun intended). Yellow pretty much sums up my riding experience these days, and the R train is at the heart of it. Late at night, the Herald Square stop becomes a homeless haven. There's one man I see their frequently who reeks of rot and filth, and is hellbent on annoying the shit out of anyone stupid enough to stand near him. He hollers at people, makes disgusting noises with his pursed lips, and can't help but muster up feelings of disgust and hatred in all who have the pleasure of looking upon him. Once you board the train, happy to escape the putrid platform, you may be in store for something far worse. Bums on the train. Though usually docile in the sense that they've passed out cold, it often means that they've pissed and shat themselves as well. In this instance, you enter into a contest with yourself to see how long you can hold your breath before arriving at the next station and car jumping to escape the nightmare. That's always fun.
But the R isn't always a beast. Sometimes it can be kind. It's often not crowded, and the service has been pretty good since I've begun riding. There's not an abundance of panhandling as there was on the "red line" which, is always a plus. I think everyone can agree when riding the subway, it's best to be left in peace. The people riding the R train at the times I normally do are also often of good demeanor. They're not loud, they keep to themselves. They're usually heading to or from work, reading, listening to music, or watching their 4 inch mind erasing devices. There's also not a lot of kids, which means you don't have a lot of raucous behavior and chances are you won't get stepped on, elbowed, or accidentally sack-tapped (that has happened to me before - I caught an errant soccer cleat to the groin). There's also not a lot of door holding for friends, as the people traveling are not in large groups. Like I said, they're usually heading home from work and they don't have the energy to play games. At least on the few stops I ride it for. The red line had a plethora of young packs of heathens, looking to cause trouble or just make noise. Two things I don't invite after a long day, though I can acknowledge I was of that mindset once too. So in the grand scheme of things, I can't really complain too much about my new line, because it's treated me pretty fairly as far as the subway goes.
It's a dance. A mating ritual. A courtship. Just like "elevator karma," I definitely believe in "subway karma" as well. Do unto your subway, as you would have done to you. Just respect the steel beast, keep your head down, and ride her 'til your stop done come. Don't litter, don't eat smelly food and leave samples of it behind, and don't make the ride uncomfortable for others. Let the people getting off, out of the subway first, then enter (same goes for elevators), and give up seats to handicap, elderly, and people with kids. Fat people do not get special privileges in my book, in fact I think they should have to stand to make room for people who eat normal portions. Like carry-on restrictions in airports, if your ass don't neatly fit in one seat, you don't get to overspill into a second. Basically, like Spike Lee said, "do the right thing," and maybe this journey gets a little easier for us all.
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