I also remember losing a few of my baby teeth as a youth. It was an experience I never enjoyed, Tooth Fairy or not. I remember my father telling me to "stop being a pussy, and yank the loose ones out," or my mother placating me and dealing with hours of complaining and indecision until the tooth in question practically jumped out of my mouth on its own. But for all the misery of losing teeth, and the infinitely worse problem of gaining unwanted teeth, I think the most odd and at times humorous significance of these calcified growths, exist in the literary world.
Obviously, I largely live in the world within my head. A product of that life is pondering over ridiculous things like this. And though I haven't the time or willpower to cleverly relate this post to Lady Gaga (Teeth) or Raffi (Brush Your Teeth), I'm hoping you'll still see at least some of the entertainment value that I did when it comes to our toothy expressions.
Like Pulling Teeth - Literally, not a good thing. Have you seen Castaway, or numerous torture sequences involving pliers? But even as a simile, it implies that the endeavor is not an easy one. An expression I often use in relation to getting women to do what I want.
Sink Your Teeth Into It - My first day as an intern at Miramax was far from what I expected. With a head full of optimism and mouth full of bullshit, I learned very quickly that I was a nobody, and would remain as such until about 27 (upon which I learned I'm not a nobody, but a somebody that nobody cared about). I was corralled into a cage-sized cubicle and set upon by some of the most ambitious and annoying assistants imaginable. I specifically remember the ringleader of this parade of pretentiousness, Lucas. A tall boy, with a "Bangin' Salad" (definition: great hair-do), Luke didn't have a way with words or women, but he definitely had his way with me. He would dump endless amounts of shit on me, knowing full well I would never finish a tenth of the work he gave me. On my first day, Luke came up to me, and with a sleazy grin, said from the corner of his spit laden mouth, "here's some scripts straight from Harvey's desk that I think you can really sink your teeth into." Needless to say, I'm not fond of this little turn of phrase.
By The Skin Of His Teeth - By the narrowest of margins. A term that is thrown around so freely these days, I can't quite remember where I first heard it. Though I'm told it comes from the bible (apparently that old knee slapper JOB said it first), the instance I remember most vividly is when my freshman year spanish teacher told me I'd passed his class "by the skin of my teeth." I think my mother remembers that instance best as well.
Long In The Tooth - Simply put, old as fuck. But I never really got this expression. Do teeth grow? Maybe long in the beard, or long in the toenail, but the tooth? Maybe someone can explain it to me...
As Scarce As Hens Teeth - One night in a little town called Amagansett, I was immersed in a political discussion about the Iran Contra by candlelight. I don't really want to get into that right now, but I think its safe to say at this point, that Reagan wasn't half as nieve as he pretended to be. Except when he got Alzheimer's, then he was as nieve as he didn't pretend to be. Long story short, a friend of mine summed up one of his many conclusions with the line, "an honest politician is as scarce as hens teeth." I misheard this line, and thought he said, "an honest politician is as scariest and ending." Besides questioning the syntax of his expression, I told him that it didn't really make any sense, because wouldn't an honest politician be something we'd want, but have never had? This was when I learned of the existence of the expression, "As scarce as hens teeth," and I've had fun with it ever since.
Armed To The Teeth - and I quote:
As your attorney, I advise you to rent
a fast car with no top.
And you'll need
the cocaine.
Tape recorder
for special music.
Acapulco shirts.
Get the hell out of L.A.
for at least 48 hours.
- Blows my weekend.
- Why ?
'Cause, naturally, I'm
gonna have to go with you.
We're gonna have to
arm ourselves to the teeth
Well, why not ?
Shit if it's worth doing,
it's worth doing right.
This is the American Dream
in action.
Bite Me - Though no teeth are directly referenced here, it heavily implies the use of them. I used the line insatiably at a young age, and even now, it works in certain situations. Though immature, it can be an effective way of conveying attitude, without using foul language.
Take The Bit Between One's Teeth - Things are definitely getting strange when we start likening ourselves to horses. Especially when it comes to teeth, or choosing your own direction in life. It's almost an oxymoron in that respect, because I've never known a horse to lead itself when it's taken the bit between its teeth. Also, if a person is putting some kind of headgear on that requires the insertion of anything into the mouth, chances are there's going to be leather, studs, and pain in your near future.
Sweet Tooth - I know I have one. And 38 cavities, 4 root canals, and a cumulative dentists bill akin to the GDP of Lithuania, I'm still hooked on the suge.'
Now I know I must've left some out, so if you can think of any, I encourage you to send 'em to me. But please, include the definition, because lord know some of these expressions are ambiguous at best.
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